Git Defined
by Solstice Muse
Summary: A series of eight 'One Shots' exploring the different types of 'Git' in the Potterverse. Told from the perspective of different Weasleys.
1. Old Git

_A/N This series of one-shots have been written for NCCjellybean, my Brit Slang buddy over in America, who asked me in a review for 'Timeless' if a git was a good thing, a bad thing, a swear word or not._

_Git is a complicated term and here are the many different ways we in England use the word. Enjoy!_

**Old Git**

_**An old git **- A person or a member of a group of people, not necessarily elderly, who enjoy being miserable and letting their misery be known to all who will listen and most others who won't. They also enjoy seeing and causing misery in the lives of others._

Ron and Harry were walking back from Quiddich practice when they saw Argus Filch emerging from the forest with a face so utterly miserable he resembled a wax Blood hound that had been beside a roaring fire for too long.

"Oh look," Ron said as he nudged Harry in the ribs, "it's the world's most charismatic man."

Harry chuckled at this and heaved his broom over his left shoulder, the right having gone a bit numb from the long journey so far.

"Why are we going the long war round again?" Ron said, his amusement fading as he turned away from Filch and back at Harry.

"I want to drop in on Hagrid, I told you, we've been neglecting the poor bloke this year and you know how much he gets a kick out of our little visits. What harm is it doing you?"

"I wasn't complaining," Ron said as he held up his hands defensively, "just wondering that's all. Blimey mate, bite my head off or what?"

Harry sighed deeply.

"Sorry. I'm just feeling a bit guilty about not dealing with the situation with Hagrid a bit better than I did. We should've known he'd expect us to take care of magical creatures and gone to see him before his feelings got as badly hurt as they did."

Ron snorted.

"Care of magical creatures in N.E.W.T. year, could you imagine it?" Harry tried not to laugh as Ron burst into quite an alarmingly accurate impersonation of Hagrid's accent, "This week we're gonna be devoured by man eatin' Tibetan mountain trolls so we can study the complicated digestive system from the inside!"

Harry's glasses almost vibrated off the end of his nose as he shook with laughter. Ron seemed quite pleased with himself until his face suddenly crumpled into a frown and he thrust his broom into Harry's free hand and stormed over to Filch at the edge of the forest.

"What the hell?" Ron had muttered before breaking into a run.

Harry blinked and pushed his glasses further up his nose so he could squint after his departing friend. Filch was waving a familiar rust bucket of a car out of the trees and Harry saw that Hagrid was behind it pushing with an annoyed shake of the head. Harry picked up the pace so he could hear what was going on.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Ron yelled as he reached the school caretaker as he kicked the side of the car with distain.

"That car is a wreck," Filch said with a curl of the lip, "I'm getting rid of it once and for all."

Ron looked outraged and took a step between Filch and the Ford Anglia.

"You can't do that. This is my dad's car."

Filch narrowed his eyes and took a step towards Ron with as much menace as he could muster, which wasn't a lot seeing as Ron was a full foot taller than he was.

"If your father wanted it he would have come and got it when we owled him to remove the eyesore."

"What?" Ron frowned and glanced to Hagrid.

The half-giant cleared his throat and kicked at a tuft of grass at his feet, causing a large clump of turf to overturn, before forcing himself to meet Ron's eye and explain.

"Well the thing is there Ron," he began, "Argus 'ere told yer dad that he had to pay for the car's removal if he wanted it back. Seein' as it caused so much damage when it got 'ere like."

Harry panted and drew to a halt just in time to see Ron turn on Filch with a ferocious glare.

"You asked my dad for money?"

"This isn't a dumping ground y'know boy? This is a school."

Ron stepped up to look down on the oily squib.

"And you're a caretaker, it's not your business to go clearing out the forest," Ron turned his head to look back at Hagrid again, "is the car bothering you Hagrid?"

"No," the half giant said as he took a step back wards and lowered his head, "no trouble at all."

Harry marvelled at the sight of his best friend standing up to Filch and almost laughed out loud to see Hagrid cowering in the wake of his indignation.

"Well this is my family's property and as a representative of my family I'm claiming it."

While Filch flapped his jaw soundlessly Ron jumped onto the bonnet and crawled into the drivers seat through the shattered windscreen.

Filch looked as if he was on the verge of explosion and almost trod on his beloved cat Mrs Norris as he stepped forward and banged his fist upon the roof of the car.

"You wouldn't have dared challenge me if Professor Umbridge was still running things boy, you'd be living in fear just like students should be. I am your elder, your superior, you owe me respect!"

Ron snorted at this and Hagrid looked at Harry pleadingly. Harry didn't know what he was supposed to do. The car did belong to Ron's family after all but it was on Hogwarts property.

"Get out of that scrap heap now!" Filch growled as he flung open the driver's side door and reached in for Ron to haul him back out.

"You can't touch me I'm in my own property and you are not permitted within the boundaries of this car."

Filch froze on the spot and blinked.

"What?"

"You can't physically move me without overstepping my property line and I can get you arrested for trespassing," Harry was quite impressed at Ron's quick thinking under the circumstances. Fred and George were definitely beginning to rub off on their younger brother.

"He's got a point," Harry shrugged.

Ron looked almost jubilant now that Harry was backing him up with his pointless fight for a worthless heap of scrap and beamed with renewed confidence at his best friend.

"And a witness," he said as he turned back upon Filch, "You can't touch me. You can't move me and I'm not getting out of this car."

Harry laughed as Ron slammed the driver's side door and put on his seatbelt for good measure before locking the doors. The passenger side door fell off and hit the ground with a dull thud. Ron cringed and refused to look over his shoulder at the gaping hole where a door used to be.

Filch thought to himself for a moment before marching away from the car and over to a rickety shed that was hidden in the shadow of Hagrid's hut.

"I may not be able to touch you, but I can dismantle that bloody car around you."

Ron looked back at Harry and silently pleaded him for help. Harry didn't really understand why Ron wanted to save the car so much but thought that he should assist his friend on principle. Ron was in the right after all and Filch didn't have the authority to confiscate something as large as a car from a Hogwarts student. This was head of house business.

Harry pulled out his wand and levitated the car, with Ron still inside, into the air with a swish and flick of his wand. As Filch dropped the tools he was holding and ran back out of the rickety little shed towards them Harry jumped onto his broom and kicked off the ground to hover out of reach of the livid caretaker.

"Get back down here now. Hooligans, the pair of you, that's what you are!" Filch shouted with a shake of his fist.

Harry hoped they wouldn't get into too much trouble for this little stunt and looked across to Ron who was leaning out the window to snigger down at the livid caretaker.

"Ron quick," Harry called across to his friend, "fly the car to the other side of the grounds and let it drive away and hide."

Ron shook his head and patted the dashboard.

"No can do I'm afraid Harry, the old girl's knackered, she's on her last legs. Well she would be if she had any."

Harry blinked and sat back on his broom as he realised that Ron was risking months of detention for a car that wouldn't fly, drive or even keep out a draft. Ron seemed to have read his friend's mind and swallowed.

"It's my dad's car Harry. It's his to throw away not that old git down there," Ron pointed a finger down at the ranting Filch and Harry's pride and admiration swelled inside of him, "We don't have a lot but what we do have is ours to get rid of if and when we choose. It's _our _car Harry he can't have it."

"I'll get you expelled for this. Expelled and then I'll send your father a bill for disposing of that pile of rusty old junk for good measure!" Filch was snarling.

Ron looked across to Harry and took a deep breath in and out before shaking his head.

"You don't have to get into trouble with me Harry. I'll hold the car up with my wand and you go and tell Hermione and Ginny that I said goodbye ok? Tell Hermione I got thrown out for defending house elves though," Ron added quickly, "don't tell her I was expelled defending a clapped out old car."

Harry smiled at his best friend and thought about how he had ridden an invisible flying horse all the way into London to be ambushed by Death Eaters and almost killed and all because he wouldn't let Harry face trouble alone.

"Like you said Ron," Harry shifted his weight on the broom and angled it down to the ground, "this is the property of the Weasley family. Nobody steals from my family."

Ron's eyes lit up and a broad smile broke across his face. Harry thrust himself toward the ground and Argus Filch with such unexpected force that Hagrid yelled out and covered his eyes, thinking Harry was about to crash into the ground head first. Filch ran and Harry pulled up his broom to pursue him all the way into the shed where he hid. Harry jumped off the broom and slammed the door closed, turning the rusty five inch key in the lock and holding it up to show Ron with as much pride as if he had just caught the golden snitch.

"Swallow the key!" Ron yelled down to him with enthusiasm while Filch pounded upon the locked door.

"It's huge!" Harry exclaimed as he stared down at the key and tried to imagine lodged in his throat.

"Well throw it into the lake or something," Ron said with a roll of his eyes, "Call yourself an anarchist?"

"No," Harry blinked back up at Ron, wondering where on earth his friend had got that idea.

Hagrid seemed to be looking nervously from Ron twenty feet up in a levitating car to Harry who was in the process of throwing the key to his tool shed into the forest. He didn't want to get them into any trouble but he knew that imprisoning the school caretaker inside a shed wasn't really ethical either.

"Get that rusted heap of scrap metal back down now you worthless little trouble maker!" Filch shouted through the door from behind Harry just as he noticed two figures approaching through the now rapidly encroaching darkness of the dusk light.

"Look I think you'll agree that abusing him or the car isn't going to help much," Harry said diplomatically before jumping away from the door as it shook with the pounding of fists on the other side of it.

"Ron?" the running figure of Hermione called up at the car as she arrived on the scene followed by a panting Neville Longbottom, "Is that you up there?"

Harry glanced up to see Ron's head drop and begin to thump repeatedly on the steering wheel. Hermione's arrival could only mean one thing; nagging.

"I saw you arguing with Filch over the car and came to..." Hermione began before looking around herself and seeing nobody else around her but an anxious Hagrid wringing his hands, "...where did Filch go?"

Harry jumped as the door was pounded upon from behind him once again.

"Harry you didn't?"

Before Harry could defend himself from Hermione's rage Ron did what he always does best, he drew her full fury upon himself.

"He's just helping me defend my rights Hermione. This is a matter of ownership and property and...other stuff that basically means that old git's trying to take my dad's car!"

Hermione put her hand to her head and gave a weary sigh. Neville frowned up at Ron and waved.

"I think you're doing a very noble thing Ron. Keep it up."

Ron gestured at Neville as Hermione spun around and glared at him for supporting this exercise in mass expulsion.

"Y'see, Neville understands. This is my property and I am defending it."

There was another thump on the door behind Harry and he kicked out behind him with his heel to try a shut Filch up.

"Oh Ron do you honestly think your dad would want you to get into trouble over this? If he really wanted the car he would've..."

"He's trying to extort money from him Hermione!" Ron yelled back down as he pointed at the shed.

"Why you little sod!" Filch's muffled voice roared from inside the tool shed, "that car caused galleons worth of damage to Hogwarts property and we didn't ask your family for a penny and you didn't get thrown out then like you know you should have."

"This isn't like some fanged Frisbee you can take from a first year and lock up in your office," Ron yelled back down and Hermione shook her head at the escalating scene that she could see no way out of, "this is the private property of Arthur Weasley and if you want it removed or payment for removing it you've got to get permission from Dumbledore first and you know it!"

Hermione's eyebrows raised slightly and she looked across at Harry who couldn't help himself from smiling.

"Actually Ron that's a very good point," she said before remembering their current situation and stamping her foot with frustration, "and I wish you had thought of it before you went ahead and did this!"

"I was the one who levitated the car actually," Harry began before petering off under the look of scorn from Hermione.

"It'll be getting dark soon, you'll freeze," Neville called up to Ron.

Ron frowned and thought about this problem for a moment before leaning out of the window and calling back down.

"I'll try the lighter thingy."

Ron leaned forward in his seat and pushed in the lighter button on the dashboard, waiting for a moment before sitting back and leaning out of the window again.

"I don't think it's working," he called down to them.

"No," Hermione said with an annoyed look on her face while Harry and Neville struggled not to laugh, "a cigarette lighter won't warm a car without any windows, even when the battery _is_ connected!"

"What's a battery?" Ron frowned.

"We need to get him back down now," Hermione said as she turned to Hagrid, "Where's the key to the shed?"

"The genius here threw it away," Filch's voice grumbled from within the shed and Harry shrugged with an amused grin that angered Hermione even more.

Hermione let out a huff before marching over to Harry who braced himself for the full force of her rage.

"Right I'm going up there to talk some sense into him," she said firmly as she snatched Ron's broom from Harry's grip.

"Wait Hermione," Ron said nervously as he leaned out of the window to see her mounting his broom, "what are you doing? You're not much of a flier and if you bust my broom I'll..."

"Levitate it rather than throw it away because it belongs to you?" Hermione snapped as she kicked off from the ground and made her unsteady way up to him in the car.

Hermione swung out her foot to pull herself and the broom through the missing door and into the passenger seat of the car. Ron watched her and gripped the steering wheel nervously.

"Listen," she began with a surprisingly low and even tone, "its time to give it up, the car's gone. You're clinging to the corpse of a car."

Ron looked back out through the glassless windscreen and gave a weary sigh.

"Just because it's a bit battered and nobody else would want it doesn't mean that it's completely worthless y'know?" he mumbled.

"I didn't say that Ron, I know that this car saved you and Harry from Aragog's offspring that time but the car's gone. It doesn't fly, it doesn't drive and it's rusted away into a shell of itself."

Ron tapped at the steering wheel thoughtfully and lowered his eyes.

"This was the only thing we ever had that was actually good," he said quietly.

Hermione shifted in her seat and lifted her hand to reach out for him but Ron punched at the dashboard, causing her to squeal and jump back with fright. She stared at him with concern.

"We had something cool Hermione. My dad bought something and made it into something nobody else had. We had a flying bloody car and we were the only ones who did. We had an _invisible_ flying car!"

Hermione swallowed and tried to understand why Ron was having so much trouble letting go. It was only a possession after all. Surely Ron wasn't that shallow.

"We had one good thing and I wrecked it," Ron said before turning away to stare out of his window and over the trees.

Hermione understood now. She stared at the back of Ron's head and struggled for the right thing to say.

"All I do is mess everything up. Well I might have trashed his car but I'm not going to let that spiteful little squib just take it because we can't afford to..."Ron stumbled over his words, "I mean we _could _afford to if we wanted to but it's the principal of the thing Hermione."

Hermione nodded and Ron turned back to face her. Even in the ever-decreasing light of day she could see that his ears were burning bright red.

"I see that Ron," she nodded, "I see what you mean now. Why should you have to pay to reclaim what's yours in the first place?"

Ron swallowed and nodded once.

"Exactly."

They sat in silence for a minute before Hermione shivered and Ron pulled off his Quiddich robe and offered it to her.

"No really I'm fine," Hermione protested but he forced it around her shoulders before sitting back in his seat and staring back through the non-existent windscreen at Hogwarts castle.

"Put your seat belt on," he mumbled with a very slight smile.

Hermione gave a small laugh and did as she was told before looking around at the car's battered and torn interior.

"I can see why you like it," she said.

"Don't patronise me," Ron huffed as he folded his arms across his chest.

"I'm sorry," she smiled, "you're right I was. The thing is Ron, you're not exactly the kind of person one can reason with."

Ron smirked and nodded.

"Oh you're right there."

Hermione chuckled at this before swivelling around in her seat to look at Ron in concern.

"You must be starving;" she said as she rested her hand on his shoulder to nudge him into to looking back at her, "you've been up here for ages. It's lucky you didn't have to go to the loo really."

Ron grinned back at her sheepishly.

"It's lucky you didn't sit in the back seat."

Hermione's eyes widened and she jerked her head to look at the cracked leather of the back seat and sniffed warily.

"I'm joking," Ron laughed and she punched him in the arm with a relieved smile of her own.

"Oi," Harry shouted up to them from his spot guarding the tool shed, "I'm ready for my dinner are you done chatting or what?"

The pounding on the shed door began again and Filch's voice sounded hoarse with fury.

"The headmaster will hear about this! I will not rest until all four of you are out on your ears for this!"

Neville frowned and looked at the worried Hagrid.

"Oh come on there's no need to take it out on Hagrid Mr Filch."

"I'm talking about you not him!" Filch bellowed and Neville looked terrified as he suddenly heard his grandmother's voice in his head berating him for being expelled for something as stupid as this.

"Oh now come on Filch," Hagrid said upon seeing Neville's distraught expression, "I think you'll find our Ron's got you on a little technicality there, that ownership thing he was talkin' about before, and 'Ermione's gonna know what books to find the wizardin' law tha saves all their skins so you'd best just let this one go and leave the poor lad to have his car if he wants it."

Harry beamed over at Hagrid and the half giant almost blushed with pride at his eventual involvement in this chaos having gone down so well.

"What about me being imprisoned in a bloody shed?" Filch bellowed as he pounded on the door again, "I'll string you all up by your toes when I get hold of you!"

"Now even if I _wanted_ to let you out I wouldn't because of your negative attitude," Harry said with a disapproving tone.

Filch's rage was almost at explosion levels as he rattled the door while roaring through the crack in the door.

"Me? You're talking to me about my attitude? You've all but taken me hostage, all of you are on school grounds after dark without permission, you're levitating dangerous machinery without a professor to supervise you and _I'm_ being unreasonable? You're having chats in a dilapidated tin can and you're telling me I have an attitude problem. I have a brat problem, that's what I've got!"

Harry leaned forward to answer Filch through the same crack in the door.

"You see? That doesn't make me want to let you out."

Harry leapt back as the door rattled and Filch began to rant once again. He turned to Neville who looked both petrified and amused at the same time.

Back in the car Hermione was making slow progress.

"So as far as I can see you can either stay up here until the mediwizards from St Mungo's come to lock you away with Lockheart or you're going to have to give it up. What's it going to be Ron?"

"I'm not the type to give up, I'm the type to flip-out," Ron smiled, "the loony bin sounds alright with me."

Hermione reached out and rested her hand upon his and she fixed him with a hard stare of steely determination that she get her point across once and for all.

"Ron," she began as she squeezed his hand, "your father's greatest achievement isn't a flying car."

She nodded to the rear view mirror and watched as Ron's eyes drifted over to look into it.

"He made something much better than this old thing about seventeen years ago and I'm sure he'd much rather have this car thrown out of Hogwarts than you."

Ron looked back at Hermione and gently swished and flicked his wand to lower the car back down to the ground. Hermione smiled at him as they landed gently without a word between the two of them. Hagrid took a step toward the car to help Hermione out but she held up a hand to tell him to wait, which he did without question.

"I'm going in for dinner," she said pleasantly, "are you coming?"

Ron tried to open his door to get out but it was jammed so he crawled out the same way he had come in, through the windscreen and over the bonnet. He slid onto the ground and walked around to the passenger side of the car with an amused grin on his face.

"I'd open your door for you but it's not there."

Hermione let out a delighted laugh and unfastened her seat belt. She climbed out and the two of them turned to Harry.

"We're going to get something to eat," Ron said nonchalantly, "you coming?"

Harry nodded over his shoulder at the tool shed.

"What about Filch?"

Hermione smiled the same smile she had when she presented the jar containing Rita Skeeter to him on the Hogwarts Express.

"Let him out to rush to the headmaster and explain why he has littered the Hogwarts grounds with an old wreck when it was perfectly well hidden within the woods until now," she shrugged as she opened the door with a flick of her wand and Filch stumbled out of it looking livid, "and I'm sure Professor Dumbledore would be only too interested to hear about your like extortion scheme to get money from students families without his knowledge Mr Filch."

Hermione turned back to Ron who was stifling a laugh and gestured towards the castle.

"Shall we?"

"Yes I think we shall," Ron nodded as the two of them set off, followed by Neville, Harry and Hagrid.

Just before they reached the steps leading up to the main doors of the castle Ron gave Hermione a slight nudge and smiled.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

"Anytime," Hermione replied with her own satisfied grin before looking over her shoulder at Filch scratching his head and wondering what on earth to do with this old wreck he had hauled out of the forbidden forest, she scowled playfully and mumbled so only Ron could hear her, "Old git!"


	2. Jammy Git

**Jammy Git**

_**Jammy git** - A complimentary term sometimes delivered with admiration or envy to describe somebody who always comes out of sticky situations smelling like roses._

Hermione took a quill from the ink well on her desk and began to write on her roll of parchment. The nib split apart and ink spattered everywhere. Ron sniggered as she huffed and banished the quill to the bin beside Professor Slughorn's desk. She grabbed a second quill from the ink well and examined the nib closely before lowering it to a fresh piece of parchment and beginning to write the method to the potion she was about to concoct. The nib buckled after the third word and a large puddle of blue ink pooled on the parchment and began to soak in.

"You're not having much luck with that are you?" Ron chuckled as he pulled his bag onto his lap and withdrew a spare quill to lend her.

"Thank you Ronald," she huffed as she inked the quill for a third time and pushed the second roll of ruined parchment away from her.

"Not your lucky day is it?" Harry said as he fanned through the pages of his copy of Advanced Potion Making without looking up.

"Why don't you get your nose out of that thing and attempt to create a potion yourself for a change," she said snippily as she began to write with Ron's flawless quill.

"Don't start that again," Ron frowned as he balled up Hermione's soiled rolls of parchment and threw them deftly into the bin.

"Nice," Harry said with his eyebrows arched, "you could've been a chaser with an aim like that mate."

Ron tried not to look too smug as he responded to this compliment.

"Chasers don't get their own theme songs though."

Harry snorted at this and turned his attention back to his potions book. Hermione looked annoyed at both of them as she dropped her quill back into the inkwell and blew on her parchment to let the ink dry. Just as she did this what appeared to be a little ball of black lint drifted across the desk in Ron's direction. As Hermione lowered her roll of parchment back down onto the desk she saw that it wasn't a ball of lint at all but a spider and she was about to scoop it up in her hand and send it on it's way when Ron spotted it.

He made a high-pitched yelping sound and jumped to his feet. Hermione tried to sweep the spider in another direction with the feather of the quill but Ron seemed outraged at this.

"Don't use my quill to touch it!" he snapped as he grabbed his potions book and lifted it ready to slam it down onto the innocent little arachnid.

Hermione flicked her wand and summoned the book out of Ron's hand before he could send it crashing down onto the desk. As she did this she accidentally flicked the spider with the feather of the quill into the air and straight at Ron who jerked backwards and fell off his seat with an almighty crash. He hit the back of his head against the desk behind him before noticing the spider landing on top of his right thigh and almost screamed. He frantically tried to brush the spider off of himself while scrambling along the floor like an eel trying to squirm out of somebody's grip.

Hermione tried in vain to get Ron to remain calm while watching as the spider fell onto its back on the floor and waggle it's legs frantically to right itself. This display of flailing legs only worsened Ron's little display of anxiety. In his panic Ron knocked against the desk behind him once again and a pencil sharpener in the shape of a balding man with a serene smile on his face toppled down towards the floor. Ron caught it, threw himself forward and slammed the iconic sharpener down onto the spider before wincing with a shudder at what he had just done and scrambling back up to his feet, batting at his robes, seemingly convinced that there were more spiders crawling all over him.

"What did you do that for?" Hermione said with a tut while the rest of the potions class let their amusement at Ron's little fight to the death be heard.

As Ron stared at Hermione incredulously the owner of the pencil sharpener jumped out of their seat to recover their property.

"You saw it coming at me!" Ron pointed down at the floor with wild eyes.

The student at Ron's feet lifted up the pencil sharpener and turned it over to stare at the crushed spider that was stuck on the bottom of it with disgust.

"Ugh, wipe it off," Ron cringed as he backed into the wall of the dungeon, "I can still see the juice from it."

Hermione angled her head to read the writing at the feet of the figure on the pencil sharpener while Harry tried to stifle a laugh at Ron's fear broadening to the obliterated remains of spiders as well as whole and living ones.

"Saint Francis of Assisi," Hermione said with a roll of the eyes, "Only you could kill a spider with the patron saint of wounded animals Ron."

Ron edged away as the repulsed owner of the pencil sharpener passed him with a scowl to take her property back to her seat and attempt to clean it up.

"I have a phobia about them ok?" Ron tried to explain to her, "people don't think straight when they're all phobic."

When the spider was scourgifued away Ron finally felt able to rejoin his friends at the desk just as Slughorn was rising from his own desk to come and see what all the commotion was about.

"Reginald, are you alright?" the professor said as he wove his way over to Ron with a frown of concern upon his face, "That really was a nasty fall you took there and... oh my yes look at your head."

Ron blinked as he put his hands to his head and glanced at Hermione whose look of scorn ironed out into a startled expression as she spotted the blood dripping down the back of Ron's neck from beneath his hair.

"Oh Ron you're bleeding!" she said as she jumped up from her seat and began to roughly examine the back of Ron's head.

"Blood?" the girl with the Assisi sharpener said before looking at Hermione's fingers as she withdrew them from Ron's scalp and seeing the bright red blood on her fingertips.

The girl's eyes rolled back into her head and she feinted into the arms of her friend who struggled to keep her from hitting the floor and hurting herself.

"Oh would you look at us all today," Slughorn said with a chuckle as he too began to examine Ron's head, "phobias are striking us down left, right and centre aren't they? I have quite a severe fear of suffocation myself. Now hold still while I see how bad it is will you?"

While Slughorn prodded Ron's head would, causing him to yelp and flinch back out of his reach, Harry found himself struggling to understand why a fear of suffocation was considered a phobia.

"Sir," Harry asked as he closed his potions book and took a step towards Slughorn, "who _doesn't_ fear suffocation?"

"An excellent point Harry, indeed! Do we call a universal fear we all have a phobia? Alas a conversation like that isn't for this classroom."

Slughorn clapped his hands together to get the attention of the whole class.

"Now I want you all to return to your potions for turning burnt skin into baby-soft new skin and I want it to match your own skin tone exactly if possible."

Slughorn turned to Harry with a smile.

"Now I cannot wait to see how closely you manage to match your pigmentation dear boy, my star pupil after all aren't you?" he beamed.

Harry swallowed, he knew that the Half-Blood Prince's notes would recreate skin in _his_ skin tone and not Harry's so there was no way he could get away with following his tips in this exercise.

"Um sir, don't you think somebody should take Ron to Madame Pomfrey to get his head healed properly," Harry said as he tried to get Ron to agree to this without protest with a discreet widening of his eyes, "I mean it is bleeding quite badly isn't it?"

Just as Harry said the word bleeding the newly revived student behind them swooned again, having to be supported by two of her fellow classmates now.

"Oh yes you better had otherwise this poor young lady won't be able to stay awake long enough to complete her own potion. Go on Harry, get him seen to and I'll just pass you both on this exercise. After all you are Lily's boy aren't you?" Slughorn smiled at Harry before he grabbed at Ron's robes and shoved him towards him to be led to the hospital wing, "And Reggie my lad, it really isn't fair to expect a pigmentation match from you anyway what with all those freckles. A terrible skin pattern to have to recreate, I've struggled with it myself before. Off you go."

Ron blinked at Harry who winked at him and pulled him out of the dungeon by the elbow while Hermione looked as if she was about to send steam out through her ears at Harry's coasting through another potions lesson without doing a stroke of work himself while Malfoy was about ready to spit with rage as they passed him by.

As they left the dungeon and the heavy door closed behind them Malfoy turned to professor Slughorn with a look of outrage.

"So you mean to tell me that because Potter knows the way to the hospital wing off by heart and has an accident-prone friend who is scared of spiders he doesn't have to make his potion to pass today's class?"

Slughorn nodded as he fanned the pale student who was suffering from the feinting fits.

"And Weasley gets full marks too simply because he has freckles?" Malfoy said with livid eyes.

"Yes Mr Malfoy now if you wouldn't mind getting back to your potion and attempting to pass this class yourself rather then worrying about how the other students are doing I'd be most grateful," Slughorn sighed as he patted the pale girl on the shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile.

Malfoy turned around to face the front of the classroom with a face like thunder. Hermione continued with her own potion and tried not to smile to herself when she overheard Malfoy hissing under his breath.

"Jammy gits!"

* * *

**Coming soon... Smug Git**


	3. Smug Git

**Smug Git**

_**A smug git -** A term of derision when used behind subject's back. An affectionate slight between friends/family delivered to their face or with a smile._

Ron, Harry and Hermione were pulling the multiple textbooks that professor Lockheart had insisted they bring with them to every one of his Defence Against the Dark Arts classes while the author of the boastful tomes seemed entranced by his own reflection as he passed by the windows in his turquoise robes.

Ron hated these lessons, not just because all they seemed to learn was about the personal preferences of the vain teacher rather than how to defend against the heir of Slytherin but because it killed his shoulder having to lug around the entire back catalogue of the great prat himself.

"Now class I have marked your tests from last week and I have to save I was somewhat disappointed with most of you," Lockheart said with his punchable smile, "I would have thought that Defence Against the Dark Arts classes would appeal to you young men but I just don't see your hearts in it I'm afraid. Very poor Mr Thomas," he said as the roll of parchment that had been Dean Thomas' homework was dropped into his lap with a condescending shake of the head, "It's almost as if you couldn't care less about my morning hygiene routine at all."

Ron looked to Harry who was rolling his eyes to the ceiling and shaking his head wearily.

"There's nothing that'll repel a banshee faster than good grooming after all," Ron muttered and Harry sniggered while Hermione scowled at him and gave an impatient huff.

"And Harry my dear boy," Lockheart slapped his perfectly manicured hand onto Harry's shoulder and looked at him sympathetically, "This work, well I think I understand that you've set yourself an unreachable standard what with your desire to compete with me but remember Harry," the smug git gave him a wink, "You've got a lot of growing up to do before you can begin to compare our adventures haven't you?"

Harry seemed to be putting himself through some considerable physical and mental pain as he struggled to hold his tongue while Professor Lockheart tossed Ron his homework, which was a quite glorious failure according to his handwritten comments at the bottom of the parchment. He felt Hermione reading over his shoulder and tutting her disapproval.

"Oh really Ron, professor Lockheart mentions the importance of fresh breath a total of seven times in that one chapter alone, how could you have forgotten that?"

"I didn't forget it Hermione," Ron growled while Lockheart made some simpering comment about Lavender Brown's extra credit gained for mentioning his pedicurist by name in her essay.

"Oh I told her I was doing that," Hermione looked greatly annoyed and glared at the back of Lavender's head while she giggled up at the professor as he tossed his head to bounce his hair away from his face in what he obviously thought was a heroic fashion, "How dare she take credit for my idea!"

"Look at this!" Harry was suddenly snapping as he pointed out one of his answers to Ron, "He's given this a passable correct answer. How can a steak through the heart be a passable way to kill a vampire?"

"I know, if it works then it works," Ron snorted as he looked at his own critique on the same answer, "if the vampire's dead then you've bloody well succeeded haven't you?"

"What did he want from us other than that?" Harry grunted as he scrunched up the parchment and shoved it into his school bag.

"He wanted one hundred and fifty words on mirror selection for the pre-testing you have to go through before you kill the vampire. It's always better to be sure after all," Hermione said primly as she read Ron's answer and Lockheart's comments after it.

"Mirror selection?" Ron said, almost raising his voice so loudly that it distracted Lockheart from reassuring Neville that it was alright to be in awe of him but to try not to let it interfere with his school work, "So, let me get this straight, when faced with a bloodthirsty vampire who is baring their fangs at you and about to suck your life away you're supposed to say 'excuse me mate, do you mind if I browse for the perfect mirror to confirm that you are a legitimate cold hearted killer?'"

Harry laughed at this and so did Dean and Seamus who were seated behind them. Parvati Patil was so disgusted with Ron that she almost hissed at him though.

"Of course the mirror selection process isn't for emergencies," Hermione scolded him, "it's called pre-preparation Ronald and you should maybe consider thinking ahead of yourself rather than just blundering in to trouble completely unprepared."

"What do you mean blundering into to trouble? When was the last time I blundered into trouble unprepared?" Ron said defensively.

Hermione straightened up and faced the front of the classroom where Lockheart had perched himself up on the corner of his desk in what he obviously thought was a pose of casual heroism while Lavender and Parvati sighed in unison.

"Slugs ring any bells?" she said snippily.

Ron glared at her and his ears flushed bright red. Hermione's face was struggling to remain impassive but it was obvious she was immediately regretting what she had said. Ron shoved his returned homework into his bag and opened the second-hand copy of 'Magical Me' that was in front of him on the desk. He fanned through the pages with such ferocity that he almost tore several of them out and Harry was throwing an accusing look Hermione's way.

After a tense three minutes of silence between the three friends Ron muttered under his breath.

"My broken wand might be utterly useless in a battle situation Hermione but at least it's made of wood. When faced with a vampire I could at least use the worthless thing as a stake. What would you have me do? Transfigure a selection of hand mirrors and hope he smashes one to give him seven years bad luck?"

Ron felt Harry's body tense beside him, preparing to intervene in the inevitable row that was about to escalate between his two friends, while Hermione finally turned to look Ron in the eye.

"I didn't mean anything about your wand Ron. I was talking about mental preparations for battle and attack that's all," she began.

"Mental preparations?" Ron growled back at her, "Well yeah Hermione, I would say it was pretty mental to go into battle prioritising a mirror as you best defensive weapon."

"Will you just listen to me?" she said with annoyance clearly sounding in her voice.

"No, you know what? I won't if you don't mind," Ron said as he turned on his seat to look at her face to face, "because you've actually done the impossible Hermione, you have found a voice I want to listen to even less than bloody Lockheart's..._Yours!"_

Hermione looked hurt and turned her attention back to her textbook while Ron shifted back on his seat to face the front of the class again and wondered if it was possible to spontaneously combust with annoyance.

"Bit harsh don't you think mate?" Harry mumbled before shrinking under Ron's sideways glare.

"I'll just let Malfoy call her a mudblood next time," Ron said, deliberately loud enough for Hermione to hear him, "Or maybe I'll offer her a bloody mirror, I'm sure that'll terrify him."

Harry nudged Ron with his elbow and smiled very slightly.

"I know I'd be scared to death if I looked into a mirror and saw Malfoy's face looking back at me."

Ron chuckled at this and Harry seemed relieved while Hermione let out a huff and began scratching away with her quill on a piece of parchment.

"What was that Mr Weasley?" Lockheart said with a dream-like grin on his face, "Did you have a question about something?"

"Um," Ron said as he glanced down at his text book and pretended to have been discussing something from the chapter they were all supposed to be talking about, "I was just talking about...defensive mirrors."

Lockheart seemed to think Ron had just made the most intelligent comment of his life and sprung off his desk to put his hands on his hips at finally getting through to 'one of the fellows'.

"Ah yes, a mirror can be your greatest form of defence in many ways," he beamed, "I know, why don't we start listing the many ways I have used mirrors in my books in chronological order?"

Ron's shoulders slumped and every boy in the class let out a groan.

"Nice one Weasley," Seamus grumbled from behind him.

"Serves you right," said Hermione, who seemed to have recovered from her hurt feelings now and was straightening up in her seat again, "Maybe now you'll see that a mirror _can _be a valuable defensive weapon after all."

"Find me one example of a mirror saving anybody's life," Ron snarled and waited for Hermione to quote some statistic or direct him to a page of the Lockheart texts but there was no answer and he snorted and looked back at Harry, "I didn't think so."

* * *

Ron and Harry were sitting at Hermione's bedside in the hospital wing and still shell shocked about their discovery that Slytherin's monster was getting around the school through the pipes and that the only reason nobody had died was that none of them had looked directly at the basilisk yet.

Ron stared down at Hermione's glassy eyes and let out a deep sigh. Harry met his eyes and frowned.

"What are you thinking?" Harry asked.

Ron sat back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest before nodding over at Hermione.

"She'll do anything to prove me wrong."

Harry smiled and Ron shook his head.

"And you were such a smug git about that mirror thing as well," Harry said with a wider grin now.

Ron gave a little laugh and looked back at Hermione.

"Do we have to wake her up?" he asked and Harry broke into laughter that he tried to stifle at this inappropriate time, "She'll never let me live this down!"

* * *

**Next... Utter Git**


	4. Utter Git

_A/N There is a very gross finale to this so please don't read it any time around a meal or a snack! _

**Utter Git**

_**An utter git** - A term of scorn. The word 'git' is spoken is if spat._

The sound of their mother's wails of devastation rattled the walls of the Burrow and their father had almost knocked down the entire house with the ferocity he had slammed the door after himself after going out 'for a walk' after Percy had stormed out of the house with some things packed and not a word of goodbye to any of his family.

Ginny had gone unusually quiet and headed straight to her room to stew while Bill and Charlie took it in turns to comfort their mother while the other one paced up and down the kitchen floor cursing their brother under their breath. Fred and George were also in their room, audibly yelling their disgust at being related to such a worthless ministry 'yes-man' and the occasional explosion of something being blasted with frustration by their wands shook Ron's bedroom floor.

Ron seemed to have combined a little bit of everybody's reaction in him. He had stomped up to his room to silently seethe before finding it impossible to just sit around when the need to kick something was so strong and started to pace his room like a caged animal, swearing and snarling about all the things he wished he had done and said to Percy as the utter git broke his mother's heart and shrugged off his entire family without a second thought. Soon Ron had remembered his brother's words to his father about his inability to climb the ranks in the ministry and told him that was why he hadn't made anything of himself and never been able to support his own family.

Ron had thought his father was going to punch Percy's lights out then and there. Both the twins had drawn their wands on him and Ginny had grabbed their mother to stop her falling to her knees at the disintegration of her family before her eyes. Ron had felt his ears burn so furiously that he feared his hair might catch alight when Percy had looked him up and down after saying his spiteful little piece and eyeing Ron's threadbare and ill-fitting clothing.

Before he knew what he was doing Ron had grabbed his wand and thrown his bedroom door open and thundered down the stairs towards Percy's abandoned room. The twin's opened their door and looked out to see what the sudden thumping was all about and Ginny appeared at the end of the hall just in time to see Ron blast open Percy's bedroom door and barge inside.

"_Dirvo!"_ Ron bellowed at the top of his lungs as he aimed his wand at Percy's precious certificates of merit and school awards and blasted them into smithereens.

He heard his mother shouting from downstairs and then footsteps thundering up while his mother was still crying loudly in the kitchen.

"Fred! George!" Charlie was shouting as he reached the top of the stairs and ran down the landing, "What did we say about trashing Percy's room eh? Not while mum's in the state she is."

"It's not us," Fred said, partly annoyed at the false accusation and partly angry that Ron was getting to do what he wanted to do more than anything else in the world right now.

"It was him!" George said pointing into the room where Ron was emptying Percy's wardrobe of all his pristine work robes and setting light to them on the floor.

"Ron?" Charlie said before diving into the room and snatching the wand from his little brother's hand and using it to put out the flames, "What the hell do you think you're doing, you're underage?"

"Don't worry Charlie," Ron snapped, his face such an intense shade of red that Charlie seemed to be concerned for his health, "I'm sure Percy will gladly volunteer to come and arrest me for it. I mean it'll save mum and dad having to waste money feeding and clothing me wouldn't it?"

Charlie's face softened while Fred and George's grew angrier at being reminded of Percy's parting shot at his father.

"Free meals in Azkaban I hear, free prison uniform too," Ron's voice was rising with every sentence now as he bellowed into Charlie's face, "I'll probably be better off in prison than with my deadbeat bloody father eh?"

Charlie almost took a step back at this. Ron's temper was no secret but he'd never seen it unleashed entirely. He was used to seeing his little brother fuming and grumbling or rolling around in the shrubbery trying to fight the twins all by himself and ending up bruised and bloodied, while still managing to land a few punches to both Fred and George at the same time however, but he had never seen the blazing fury before. Something about Ron seemed grown up to Charlie all of a sudden. His roar wasn't one of a kid throwing a tantrum but a man about to go to war.

"We'll have none of that Ron alright?" Charlie said when he eventually pulled himself together and tried to calm his raging baby brother, "Percy's a prat and you aren't are you? Don't stoop to this Ron. Don't give him the satisfaction of thinking he was right all along and dad's brought up nothing but a thug."

Ron spun around and glared at his big brother. Charlie may not have been the oldest but he was certainly the biggest, the strongest, the most impressive and intimidating. Ron was quite surprised at himself for not backing down in Charlie's intimidating shadow if truth were told.

"Well look at what dad got for bringing up a polite thoughtful genius Charlie," Ron said coldly before snatching his wand back from his brother as he shoved his way past him and set off back up to his room again, "at least I've found my place in this family now."

The twin's, Charlie and Ginny all shared uncomfortable glances between them before cringing at Ron's roar back down the stairs before he slammed his bedroom door, causing something inside to shatter.

_"I'm the mindless thug!"_

* * *

Fred watched as George sat on his bed and jiggled his knee up and down in the same way he himself was doing where he sat on his own bed across the room. Charlie had stood on the landing dumbfounded for several seconds before going back downstairs to make up some story about everything being alright to their mother while Ginny hugged her arms to herself and retreated quietly to her room once again.

"That bastard," George hissed as he cast his unfocused glare out through the window.

"I can't believe Ron shouted at Charlie," Fred said in a husky whisper, "I can't believe Charlie _let_ him."

"Well we let him trash Percy's room and start a fire with his wand while underage didn't we?" George's scowl faded and his eyes drifted upwards to stare at the ceiling above their room.

Fred did the same and he wondered when exactly it was that 'ickle Ronniekins' temper had gone from highly amusing to slightly scary.

"I didn't want to stop him did you?" Fred said as he looked back down to meet George's eyes.

George shook his head.

"That bastard," George mumbled again, "how could he bring up money after all the things mum and dad have done for him?"

"They're still paying for that poxy owl of his," Fred agreed and subconsciously punched his fist into his other hand as he spoke.

"Well at least our dear parents don't have to worry about having to reward Ron for his academic achievements, I think we've all seen this afternoon that he is definitely not head boy material."

Fred smiled and looked back up at the ceiling.

"I always knew he was one of us."

It had been a secret war during their childhood, an unspoken battle for their little brother, and now it seemed that the twins had well and truly won. Percy had always tried to persuade Ron not to follow the twins' example and to look to him for guidance and it had been a long and fraught tug of war. Percy had been his sparing partner in chess matches while the twins had forbidden him to join them for quiddich in the back field. Percy had been the one to get Fred into trouble when he had done a number on Ron's teddy bear and brutally killed his pet puffskein for larks.

Fred never knew why he had always been so hard on Ron when they were kids. Now that he thought about it George just tormented everybody equally but Fred had honed in on Ron and made his childhood a misery. He had victimised him and Percy had comforted him and looked out for him and always told him he could be better than Fred. He could be cleverer and stronger and kinder and... Percy was right.

Fred shuddered at the thought of it. Percy was right. He hated that notion.

"What's up?" George frowned on seeing his brother's physical discomfort at his inner thoughts.

"Nothing just," Fred looked back up at the ceiling and struggled to understand why Ron had always forgiven him every time.

"You want to go up there and see if he's okay don't you?" George sighed.

Fred maintained his gaze on the ceiling and nodded.

"You've never done that before have you?" George smiled.

Something about what George had just said made Fred tear his eyes away from the ceiling and stare back at his twin. He blinked and leaned in to his amused looking brother, both their legs had stopped jiggling long ago but neither had noticed it happening.

"Have you done it before?" Fred asked.

George's smile faded and he looked to the floorboards and nodded.

"Where was I while you were being...nice to him?" Fred said, feeling slightly betrayed by his co-conspirator in all things Ron related.

"You and Lee were watching Percy trying to escape that scarf we charmed to wrap around his mouth every time he reminded somebody he was head boy."

Fred gave a slight smile and nodded.

"So why weren't you enjoying the moment with us?"

George swallowed and looked Fred in the eye.

"Sirius had just appeared in his bedroom wielding a big bloody knife over him and Ron wasn't speaking to Hermione over his missing rat remember?" Fred nodded and George went on, "Well Ron thought he had a murderer after him and all you did was make a joke about the whole thing didn't you?"

Fred opened his mouth to protest but soon remembered that he hadn't found the idea of a hardened murderous criminal standing over his sleeping baby brother with a knife the least bit amusing but he didn't know any other way to be with Ron than light-hearted so that was how he had chosen to deal with the incident. He had made some cruel comment about Ron wetting himself with fear and the fact that his blood would have been easier to clean off the bed sheets and how he was inconsiderate to interrupt Black with all that yelling and screaming while the bloke was trying to work.

"You didn't know that he slept in the common room for a week after that night did you?" George mumbled.

Fred's eyes widened and he shook his head guiltily.

"How did you find out?" Fred wondered again why his twin was spying on Ron without him.

He pictured George going off on midnight strolls and discovering all kinds of secrets that he wouldn't let Fred in on and began to feel betrayed.

"He told me," George shrugged.

Fred blinked at this. Ron had offered up the information without having been cornered or bullied into it? That couldn't be true.

"And why would he have done that?" Fred said as he folded his arms.

"Well I could just see that something was up with him. Not just the usual internal grumpiness that comes and goes with our Ron but something else and I nabbed him peeping into the common room to see if anybody was still up and asked him what was going on with him."

"And he just told you?" Fred still couldn't believe there was no threats or blackmail involved.

"Yeah," George nodded as if this was nothing, Fred wondered how little he really knew his identical twin really, "I sort of...check on him every now and then."

"Since when?" Fred found himself getting to his feet and taking a step towards his brother who remained seated.

"Since you started picking on him a little too much."

Fred felt a thousand things fighting to escape his mouth al at once and they lodged in his throat and refused to come out at all. He closed his mouth and raised his eyebrows to encourage George to illuminate him some more on this secret bond with Ron that he was no part of.

"Have you never wondered why he's still okay with you after all the things you've done to him over the years? Did you never wonder why he takes your side over Percy's when Percy only ever looked after him and looked out for him and told him he could be better than he thought he was?"

Fred lowered his eyes and nodded.

"Well," George lowered his head and looked incredibly guilty, "I do a pretty good impression of you Fred, you know that right?"

Fred's head jerked up and he glared at George as he found his voice again.

"You apologised to him as _me?_ How dare you?"

George got to his feet and looked Fred in the eye; they were practically nose-to-nose now.

"What so you want him to think of you the same way he thinks of Percy right now do you?" George snapped harshly, "Just some utter git he happens to be related to who doesn't really give a shit about him and doesn't really seem to even _like_ him?"

Fred turned away from George and strode over to the window, looking out at his mother hanging washing on the line with a puffy face while Bill carried the laundry basket for her. He wasn't like Percy. He was the anti-Percy. He didn't tell Ron he wasn't good enough in school. He didn't make Ron feel like an idiot, well not seriously, he did it as a joke and that was different. Ron was one of them. Ron was a troublemaker just like he was. Ron broke more school rules in his first year than Fred and George combined had managed in their first three years at Hogwarts.

He was closer to Ron than any of the others after George.

"He doesn't really think I don't like him does he?" Fred mumbled over his shoulder as he maintained his focus on his mother going about her new distraction.

"Not since I started talking to him no," George answered, "I explain to him that it's just your way and then I pretend to be you and I do the jokey apology thing you can do but never seem to and he forgives you and we're all okay again."

"But how could he think I'm anything like Percy though?" Fred turned on George and felt hurt for the first time since the guilt began eating away at him, "I love it when he swears, he's the most foul mouthed member of this family and he's been that way since he was seven years old!"

"Why do you think that is you berk?" George snorted with an amused shake of the head.

"He started cussing to impress me?" Fred suddenly caught up with George.

"Percy saw it happening and tried to convince him not to model himself on you but it was a lost cause mate," George shrugged, "I think he must have hit his head as a baby or something because that great prat of a little brother of ours idolises us."

Fred couldn't get his head around this concept. He wasn't an idol to his siblings, he was the bane of their lives and that was how he liked it. Bill was the pretty boy, Charlie was the tough guy, Percy was the wanker, he was the cruel twin and George was the kind one, Ron was...

"I'm the cruel one," Fred muttered almost inaudibly, "Percy's just a wanker. I'm the real bastard in this family."

"I didn't say that," George said as he took a step towards his brother in epiphany mode.

"You didn't have to," Fred said before disapparating with a loud crack.

He appeared upstairs inside Ron's room. Ron was tying a letter to Pig's leg and had yelped with fright at his brother's appearance in his room.

"Oh it's you," he sighed before opening his window and waving his tiny owl out lazily, "take it to Hermione's okay? Wait around for her reply and don't make a nuisance of yourself."

The owl zoomed away and Ron closed his window before turning back to face Fred but not meet his eyes.

"What do you want George?" he huffed.

So it was true, Ron had automatically assumed that he was his brother; Ron and George did have a different kind of relationship than the one Fred shared with his baby brother.

"It's not George, it's Fred."

Ron gave a tut and rolled his eyes before crossing the room and throwing some Percy related items into the waste paper basket on top of an already crumpled pile. Ron seemed to be removing Percy from his life altogether.

"Yeah well I'm getting a little too old to be fooled by that crap these days mate," Ron said tiredly, "I really can't be bothered playing along with it anymore so just sod off will you George."

"You knew it was never me?" Fred said with shock.

Ron stood up straight and spun around to look at his brother.

"Fred?"

Fred nodded.

"Really me this time little bro."

Ron looked cautiously at him and took a step back while folding his arms across his chest.

"Why?"

"Because I've only just found out that we've apparently been having conversations all our lives and I thought I'd better be there for one of them at the very least!"

Ron smiled and shook his head before dropping down onto his bed heavily.

"It's okay Fred, don't bother, I've calmed down now."

"Have you?" Fred raised a cynical eyebrow.

"No," Ron blurted before they both laughed and Fred joined his brother as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Percy's just a wanker Ron," Fred said as he watched his little brother picking at the bobbles on his tatty old jumper and avoiding his eyes, "he's not worth getting yourself worked up over. If he doesn't think you're worth talking to or knowing just the way you are then he's not worth your anger mate."

Ron flicked a bobble of maroon wool across his room and into the waste paper basket.

"Yeah right," he said half-heartedly.

"I, on the other hand, am an utter git and I can't believe you've never punched my lights out."

Ron's head jerked up to stare at Fred incredulously.

"What?" he seemed to be torn between laughter and fear.

"See I need to explain something to you Ronniekins," Fred said as he shifted around to face his little brother head-on, "I pick on you a lot more than anybody else and I've done some things that make me a total arsehole I know but I never did any of it because I didn't like you."

"Forgive me for not buying this Fred," Ron snorted with derision, "but this is about as convincing as You-Know-Who telling Harry he only tried to kill him because he sees so much of himself in him!"

Fred punched Ron in the shoulder.

"Will you shut up and listen you prat?"

Ron pointed at Fred and nodded with amusement.

"There you are, _that's_ Fred Weasley! You had me worried there."

Fred took a deep breath and decided that he would never be able to talk to Ron the way George obviously could. Never the same way Percy had done before he went all 'wanker' on them. Fred and Ron had their own special Fred and Ron way of dealing with things and it didn't involve talking and understanding, it involved torture and retaliation. They were real brothers.

"Right then, you want to be aggressive?" Fred said as he grabbed Ron into a headlock and hauled him off the bed and onto the floor.

They landed with a thump and Ron punched Fred in the stomach and wriggled out of his grip.

"What are you doing you dick?" Ron huffed before Fred launched himself onto his brother again and the two of them rolled around the floor landing punches and trying to pin each other or restrain each other in a variety of different ways until the bedroom door burst open and George and Ginny ran inside.

"Fred! Ron! Stop it!" Ginny ordered while George extended his hand and held his little sister back with him.

"Stay out of this George!" Fred said, purple in the face from Ron's knee in his back pushing him face down into the floor.

"Yeah Ginny, you too, bugger off the pair of you!" Ron barked just before Fred flipped him off his back and pulled one of Ron's legs up behind him causing Ron to kick out at him with his free leg while grimacing with discomfort.

"Tell me I'm a bigger git then Percy!" Fred ordered his struggling brother.

"No!" Ron yelled before his flailing leg caught Fred in the ribs and he freed himself enough to reach out and grab a handful of Fred's hair.

"Ow!" Fred yelled before grabbing Ron's other hand and bending it back painfully, "Tell me you prefer Percy as a brother to me!"

Ron was in considerable pain right now but he wouldn't loosen his grip on Fred's hair, twisting his fist a little more to cause his brother to give a yelp.

"No!"

"Stop it!" Ginny shouted before digging George in the ribs, "Stop them!"

"They're nearly there Gin," George said with a smile.

Fred managed to knock Ron flat on his back and threw himself down on top of him, his arm across Ron's throat and his face towering above him several inches. He began to make some highly unpleasant sounds at the back of his throat. Ron's eyes widened with alarm.

"Don't you dare!" Ron warned Fred as he fought to wriggle out from beneath his brother's weight in vain.

"You've driven me to this," Fred said as he cleared his nose and Ginny clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Oh no," George winced as he averted his eyes.

Fred pinned Ron's arms down beneath his knees and ignored Ron frantically thrashing legs behind him as he took aim right over Ron's face and made his demand.

"You are to denounce me as the worst of all the Weasleys, even Percy, before my strand of gob lands on your face understand?"

"If you spit in my face I'm gonna kill you!" Ron said with livid eyes but Fred was already lowering the thick, revolting strand of snot and bile from his lips ever so slowly down towards Ron's repulsed face, "I'm not kidding Fred, I will make you think Ginny's bat bogey hex is nothing more than a runny nose. Don't you dare!"

Ron's tried to move his head out of range but he was totally immobile under his brother who sucked the strand back up into his mouth and grinned.

"That wasn't what I wanted to hear little bro. Now let's try this again and this time I want to hear what you really think of me."

Again the strand of spit slipped from between Fred's lips and dangled lower and lower towards Ron's face. The strand was thinning out and weakening, it wasn't going to last as long as the other one before breaking.

"No Fred I mean it!" Ron warned while panicking with complete disgust at the idea of this glob of phlegm touching him.

Fred sucked the strand up again and Ron kicked out and tried, with all his strength to throw his brother off him but it wasn't happening. He looked up to George and pleaded with him for help.

"Will you do something rather than just standing there?"

George shrugged.

"I think you're going to have to give him what he wants Ron."

"Exactly and this is your last chance little bro," Fred said as he leaned over Ron's face again with a determined look on his own, "I'm not sucking this up unless you tell me what an utter git I really am and then and only then will I save you from my gobbing right in your mouth."

"Don't...you..._dare!" _Ron warned, his face bright red and his eyes wider than Fred had seen them in a long time.

Fred drew every drop of bile he had into his mouth and let the thick strand descend back towards Ron's face again. It was sickeningly slow and Ron's legs were kicking so hard he could have been swimming rather than on dry land.

"I will kill you Fred, I will kill you and it will hurt!" Ron winced as the strand stretched closer and closer.

Fred wasn't playing around. He really meant it this time. He wasn't going to take this one back and it was only a couple of inches away from Ron's face now.

"I'll grass you up to mum. Don't think I won't do it," Ron threatened fearfully.

Fred let the strand slip further from his lips and really doubted his ability to be able to suck this one back up even if he wanted to. He meant what he said though, he wanted Ron to give him what for and he wasn't letting up until he did. The droplet of bile was swinging barely an inch away from Ron now and he lost his will power entirely.

"Okay you're an arse, you're a shit, you're a spiteful bloody bastard and I _hate_ you!" Ron yelled in a frantic state of revulsion.

Fred sucked the strand back up into his mouth with the vilest slurping sound he had ever heard and swallowed the foul mouthful of goop. He shuddered and tried not to be sick into Ron's face instead.

"Get off me now!" Ron said with his face burning with rage.

Fred leaned over his little brother again and looked him hard in the eye.

"I'm never going to change Ron."

Ron blinked back up at him.

"I never asked you to."

Fred rolled off of Ron's body and sat down beside him. Ron sat up and the two of them stared at each other for a few seconds before Fred swallowed and looked away.

"I am sorry though."

Ron didn't say a word. He just looked at Fred as he got to his feet and dusted himself off before stepping back towards the bedroom door and a delighted looking George and a bewildered looking Ginny.

"You've got the right idea about Percy y'know?" Fred said as he paused at the door between them, "Anything he could ever do to upset you can just be torn up and thrown away. Anything he thinks doesn't count anymore Ron. He's just a paper pusher. All he cares about are little bits of paper and he's not worth getting yourself upset about. If you're going to be mad at anybody be mad at me, I think I've earned it. I think I like it."

Fred smiled at George who gave a shake of his head with resignation that this was to be the status quo forevermore and patted Ginny on the head with a wink.

"Be thankful you were a girl Gin," he chuckled before a ball of parchment bounced off the back of his head, "Oi, what was that for?"

Ron was looking slightly uncomfortable but determined at the same time as he stood across the room from the twins and Ginny and folded his arms across his chest. He looked Fred in the eye with his own slightly narrowed ones and cleared his throat.

"I forgive you," I said with a shrug.

Fred grinned and was about to say something when the front door opened and closed downstairs and the sound of their father's voice boomed throughout the house.

"Hello Weasley's, I'm back, are any of you still talking to me?"

The twins, Ron and Ginny all chuckled at this and set off down the stairs to welcome their father home.

* * *

_A/N You can tell I've got four older brothers can't you? And the spit torture technique is a real one that should not be attempted by amateurs! Oh and by the way, git is said with a VERY hard 'G'._

**Next...Lazy Git**


	5. Lazy Git

**Lazy Git**

_**Lazy Git** - Can be both derisive and affectionate. Depending upon the context in which this term is used it can be a flippant comment that is easily ignored or a scathing attack upon an individual's work ethic._

"Runts!" Charlie called from his spot sprawled on the living room sofa at Grimmauld Place, "Runts, brats, sibling slaves of mine? One of you get your arse in here with a pint of pumpkin juice for me!"

The Weasley family were still based at Grimmauld Place for another day before heading back to the Burrow. Dumbledore didn't think it was a safe base of operations for the Order of the Phoenix anymore. Everybody was working hard reinforcing wards at the Burrow and around Privet Drive while the youngsters were confined to Charlie's care until it was safe to move them.

Nobody thought the Weasley children were targets but they also didn't want to take any unnecessary risks these days, not after what had happened to Ron and Ginny.

"Pick up your wand and summon some yourself you lazy git!" Fred and George called from the kitchen in unison.

Charlie huffed and looked over at his wand where it rested upon the coffee table mere inches away and scowled. He had been forced to take a total of five portkeys to get back to his family from Eastern Europe while satisfying Mad-Eye Moody's request for extra caution in order to ensure he wasn't followed. He was tired and the time difference had completely messed up his body clock. It was also the hottest day of the summer and everybody was shut inside the house due to the amount of attention a family of redheads would draw in an area they had previously never been seen before.

"Ron? Ginny? Nice brother and sister? I never tormented you through life did I? Can one of you please come in here and hand me my wand so I can summon my own pumpkin juice?"

He heard a tutting sound from the door and turned his head to see Ginny standing at the door with a huge glass of ice cold pumpkin juice in her hands, rolling her eyes to the ceiling.

"It's right beside you Charlie," Ginny said with annoyance, "all you've got to do is reach out your right hand and grip."

Charlie fluttered his eyelashes and pouted.

"Too much work. I'm really so very very tired Gin," he stared longingly at the pumpkin juice as Ginny raised it to her lips and took a gulp, "Oi didn't you bring that for me?"

Ginny shook her head and grinned, her mouth full of cool refreshing pumpkin juice. Charlie sat up on his elbow and gave his sister a stern look.

"Hand it over little sis," Charlie said as he waggled his fingers impatiently.

Ginny still hadn't swallowed her mouthful and spat it back into the glass before holding the glass out to her bone idle brother.

"Oh I'm sorry Charlie, did you want some of _my_ juice?" she smiled sweetly.

Charlie scowled at her and shouted over her shoulder.

"Ron, Perce...oh shit, I keep forgetting he doesn't exist anymore," Charlie corrected himself with a careless shake of the head while Ginny looked away sadly and walked back into the kitchen, "Ron oh brother of mine?"

Fred appeared at the door with a chuckle.

"He's upstairs,_ oh brother of mine!"_

"Well could you do me a favour and go up and ask him if he could come down here and pass me my wand, or better still, fetch me my pumpkin juice himself?"

Fred laughed before walking away with a shake of the head and a 'sod off' before George replaced him at the open door.

"Just give it up and get it yourself mate, our days of servitude are over."

Charlie put both his hands behind his head and sighed.

"Well I would do but this is a matter of principle now isn't it?" he tried not to smile as George snorted and stomped after Fred and Ginny, "What? A man's got to keep his minions in line hasn't he? No matter how old you all get I'll always be older than you."

"What about Bill?" Fred called back from the kitchen.

"I can knock Bill over with a sneeze!" Charlie scoffed before looking up at the ceiling and bellowing at the top of his lungs, "Ronald Bilius Weasley, get your bony freckled arse down here right now!"

He could've sworn that his voice had shaken some of the plaster loose and chuckled to himself before groaning as the sound of the portrait of Mrs Black began to screech obscenities at a deafening volume.

"Oh well done you pillock!" George huffed as he ran past the door with a thick blanket to try and muffle the abusive portrait.

Charlie put his fingers in his ears and left the twins and Ginny the deal with the racket. He saw Ron running down the stairs covered with a grubby bath towel around his waist and dripping wet. He couldn't hear him but he could just about lip-read the words 'what', 'bloody hell', 'wanker' and 'set her off'.

Charlie waved at his youngest brother merrily and bid him to join him in the living room and close the door behind him. Ron did this, glad to get away from the sound of Mrs Black if nothing else it seemed and Charlie was about to begin his campaign to remain as inactive as possible when his eyes fell on his baby brother's dripping wet torso and then the vivid purple scars that curled from his wrists, up past his elbows and shoulders and ended at the base of his throat and splayed across his chest.

Ron suddenly tensed, realising he'd come downstairs with the full extent of his Department of Mysteries injuries exposed, and desperately looking around the room for something to cover his upper body with.

"They're...Ron they're..."Charlie gaped as he sat up on the sofa and lost the battle to either look away or blink, "...Oh Merlin Ron."

"It's nothing, they're fine," Ron said as he folded his arms to try and cover his chest but then realised he was just displaying his forearms even more prominently that way. He let them drop back down to his sides again.

Charlie and the rest of the family hadn't seen Ron's bare arms since the brain incident had happened such a short while ago. He had seen a little hint of a silver swirl at Ron's throat and around his wrists when he was reaching across the dining table for something but this...This was horrific.

"But I thought they'd healed," he said surprisingly quietly.

"They have," Ron shrugged while not meeting Charlie's eyes.

"No I mean..." Charlie pointed to the twisting patterns that snaked around his brother's arms and struggled to find the words he needed, "I thought they'd faded."

Ron swallowed.

"Oh well yeah. They're usually like the trails snails leave behind them on the footpath but when I have a bath they go a bit...darker."

"Darker?" Charlie got to his feet, "Ron they're _purple!_ Get dressed, I'm taking you to St Mungo's and getting them looked at."

Ron's face flushed and he looked Charlie hard in the eyes, his wet hair still dripping onto the floor.

"Charlie no! It's fine, I'm fine and Pomfrey's already given me this stuff to put on them to keep the purple down until it goes away for good."

"Well it's obviously not working is it?" Charlie said as he stooped to grab his wand up from the table.

Ron stepped forward and put his hands on his brother's broad shoulders.

"It does work when I use it."

Charlie froze and glared at Ron accusingly.

"What d'you mean _when_ you use it?"

Ron gave a sigh and walked away from Charlie, who now saw that the scarring was even on his upper back as well.

"I'm supposed to apply it every four hours but I can't be bothered with all that fuss."

Charlie raised his eyebrows and tried to remind himself of all the reasons he had not to punch Ron right at that moment.

"I've been doing it a couple of times a day," Ron protested the damning look he was on the receiving end of.

"A couple of times a day clearly isn't good enough is it?" Charlie growled.

"Look it's a lot of hassle and it's too hot and sticky to slather myself in that vile smelling goop all day long. I just..."

"You're just being a lazy git that's all!" Charlie snapped.

"It's not that Charlie, it's..."

"You can't be arsed to look after yourself properly? Well I'll do it for you then you insufferable prat!"

"It _hurts!"_ Ron yelled over Charlie's rant.

They were both still for a time and Charlie took a step forward and reached out for his embarrassed little brother who backed away and couldn't meet his eyes any longer.

"The ointment stuff really hurts when I put it on. It hurts just like it did when that brain first got hold of me."

"Ron I'm sorry," Charlie said as he sat down and put his head in his hands, "why haven't you told anybody about this?"

Ron snorted and turned on Charlie.

"Oh yeah I can really complain can't I?" he said before beginning to pace up and down the room, "Sirius is dead, Harry blames himself, Ginny and Hermione got hexed into unconsciousness, Neville and Luna got pretty badly messed up and poor Tonks is _still_ recovering now. I can really see myself getting sympathy because my practically self-inflicted thought burns are stinging a bit. Boo-bleedin'-hoo!"

"Don't say that," Charlie said uncomfortably, "don't down play how much you helped Harry that night and don't tell yourself that your suffering is insignificant either."

Ron stopped pacing and looked back towards the closed door.

"Sounds like she's finally shut up," Ron mumbled, "I think I'll go back upstairs and put something on."

He made for the door but Charlie reached out and grabbed Ron's wrist as he passed him and held his uneasy baby brother back.

"Not yet you won't," Charlie said with determination, "You'll go and get that ointment and bring it down here. _I'll_ put it on for you. I bet you've been missing your back altogether haven't you?"

Ron turned around on the spot like a puppy trying to catch its tail.

"What's up with my back?"

Charlie rolled his eyes.

"I knew it!" he smiled and lay back down on the sofa in his original position, "Get the ointment and while you're up grab us each a pint of pumpkin juice would you?"

Ron swallowed and nodded before opening the door and running up the stairs as quietly as he could. Charlie saw the twins and Ginny frowning at him from the hallway.

"What?" Charlie asked them defiantly.

"It's just..." Fred mumbled.

"...his arms," George finished his twin's sentence for him.

Ginny shivered despite the heat of the summer's day.

"They look worse than before," she whispered.

"Yeah well we've had the scar talk and he won't thank you for bringing it up again so I want the three of you to keep those traps of yours shut understand?"

The three of them nodded.

"Let me get you that pumpkin juice Charlie," Ginny said as she turned to leave.

"Don't bother pipsqueak," Charlie smiled.

"What?" Fred raised a sceptical eyebrow, "You're not telling me that you're planning on getting up off your arse and actually getting it yourself."

Charlie snorted at this as if it was as ridiculous as his brother suggesting that Hagrid and professor Flitwick were related.

"'Course not. Ron's getting it for me."

George laughed and shook his head.

"You really are a lazy git aren't you?" he said with admiration.

* * *

**Next up - Clumsy Git**


	6. Clumsy Git

**Clumsy Git**

_**A Clumsy git -** Very little spite associated with this term. Usually used when somebody hurts himself or herself by tripping or another form of comical accident. It is also a term of amusement when things are broken in an accidental manner._

Ron had never been more terrified in all his life. He finally saw it, the awful truth, this was like looking into the mirror or erised but instead of seeing what you desire most in all the world you got to see just how agonisingly painfully you would die. He would die today. He would die and it would hurt. There would be screams. It would probably be humiliating as well, which would be just his luck, and while he died the pureblood Nazis who kept looking his way and sniggering amongst each other would howl with mirth.

This was to be the day it all ended for Ronald Bilius Weasley...and he was only fifteen.

"Problem Mr Weasley?" Snape sneered as Ron remained frozen to the spot and tried to get his feet to move. His feet knew better though.

The closer Ron got the nearer he was to death, to pain, to humiliation and it was to be at the hands of somebody he considered to be a friend.

"I said you will be partnering Longbottom today now _go!_" Snape barked.

Ron heaved a sigh of resignation and walked like a prisoner to his execution over to Neville's desk and sat down.

"I'm sorry Ron," Neville said quietly, "I won't touch anything I swear, I'll leave the whole potion to you okay?"

Ron was about to give Neville a smile of apology for his lack of faith in his round faced roommate not to kill him with his attempt at brewing the volatile but powerful multiplicity potion, which would allow the drinker to do anything ranging from rubbing the tummy and patting the head simultaneously to writing two different essays with both hands at the same time and achieving full marks from both, but at that moment Snape leaned between the pair of them with a twisted smile curling his lips.

"I expect to see Mr Longbottom preparing the potion in the cauldron while Mr Weasley prepares the ingredients and _no talking_."

Ron scowled at his potions master and hoped that his lank greasy hair would twist around his neck and throttle the spiteful bastard. He glanced over his shoulder to Hermione, who was reluctantly partnered with Millicent Bullstrode, and she cast him a sympathetic smile and crossed her fingers hopefully.

"Now begin," Snape announced from the front of the class.

Ron read and reread the textbook so that he, at the very least, didn't make any silly errors in the preparation of the ingredients while Neville lit a fire under the cauldron and turned to Ron anxiously. Ron sat up in his seat and peered over the rim of the cauldron before looking back at Neville with wide eyes. Neville shrugged, he didn't have a clue what was alarming Ron so much and examined the crackling fire beneath the caldron again and saw nothing wrong.

Ron looked up and saw that they were being closely watched by Snape, who also saw exactly what Ron had seen and was just daring Ron to say something so he could give them a failing mark and detention for talking. Ron bit his lip and looked down at his textbook. He tried to mumble without moving his lips.

"'Semty."

Neville frowned and leaned in closer while pretending to read the textbook over Ron's shoulder.

"Wha?" he murmured through still lips that were barely even parted.

Ron cleared his throat and looked up and into the cauldron again before looking purposefully at Neville and then back at the cauldron again. Neville tapped the cauldron with his wand and heard the dull ringing sound that let him know it wasn't cracked in any way. Ron rolled his eyes and looked back at an almost beaming professor Snape who refused to look away from them for even a second.

"Problem Weasley?" he smirked.

"No sir," Ron said tensely as he pulled a bowl of caraway seeds towards him and picked up the mortise and pestle to begin grinding.

"Good," Snape said while the Slytherins sniggered under their breath.

Neville knew he was doing something wrong but couldn't understand what it was. It was something to do with the caldron, he knew that much. Ron kept looking into it and then looking freaked out. Neville leaned over and looked for something burning or boiling over but there was nothing. He hadn't even put anything in the cauldron yet.

Ron held his breath as he saw Neville finally beginning to understand. The boy's eyes almost bulged and he grabbed the red-hot caldron with both his bare hands and removed it from above the flame.

"AGGH!" he yelped as he burned his palms and fingertips on the scalding hot iron.

"Longbottom!" Snape hissed, "What is all that commotion?"

Neville was blowing on his burnt hands while Ron flicked his wand and conjured water that he then froze and gave to Neville to hold on to and cool his burns.

"I burnt my hands on the caldron sir," he whimpered.

"And why did you do that may I ask?" Snape sneered.

"Because I needed to take it off the heat," Neville said, feeling like the stupidest person in the history of Hogwarts.

"And _why_ did it need to be removed from the heat?" Snape said as he rose from behind his desk.

"Because it was empty sir. I forgot to put water into it."

Snape seemed to be delighted at this and turned his joy on Ron.

"You Weasley, didn't you think to point this out to Longbottom?"

Ron tried to remind himself not to lose his temper and land himself in detention when quiddich practice was due. Then again, he thought, maybe that might be a fantastic idea. If nobody would let him resign then at least he could get himself forbidden from taking part.

"You did say we weren't to speak sir," Ron said with a level tone.

"Even when your moron of a partner is about to cause a small explosion by bringing an empty cauldron to the boil? Use your common sense boy!"

Ron drew in a sharp breath and held it; he could feel Hermione behind him willing him to keep his mouth shut. Ron gave a single nod and looked back at his textbook.

"Sorry sir."

Snape seemed so happy he could dance and Neville leaned over and whispered to Ron.

"I'm sorry Ron I..."

"Detention Longbottom, talking in class unnecessarily," Snape declared with a flourish and strode back to his desk as if he could die a happy man now.

"But you _just_ told them they could talk!" Harry exclaimed, utterly livid.

Ron thought he heard Hermione groaning and he resolved to just keep his head down through it all.

"And you Mr Potter will be joining Longbottom in detention for your insolence!"

Malfoy looked as happy as if all his birthdays had come at once and then declared that it was also Christmas, Easter and Pancake Day too. Ron filled the cooling cauldron with water from his wand and levitated it back over the fire to start boiling before returning to grinding his caraway seeds.

"Oh and Weasley," Snape said with unashamed glee, "don't think I didn't see you do that. I said you were to prepare ingredients and that alone. You just took it upon yourself to do Longbottom's half of the work so you too get a zero and a detention for disobeying me."

That was it; Ron had had it. Hermione gasped and Harry was ready to jump in and help with whatever Ron was about to do next. Ron didn't get the chance to do anything next. Neville gripped his arm like a vice and pulled him back down into his seat.

"We're making it anyway Ron," Neville said, his white face flushing with fury and his burnt hands clutching his wand and casting a stirring spell over the boiling water, "just to prove that we can."

Ron stared at Neville for a few seconds before breaking into a smile and snatching up the pestle again and continuing to grind the caraway seeds once more.

"Whatever you say," he nodded.

The room was totally silent but for the sound of Ron's perfectionism while preparing his ingredients just so and Neville's recital of every line of the instructions in the text book out loud as he followed them to the letter. Snape had made a couple of comments about the two of them talking but seeing as they had already failed and got a detention each there wasn't a hell of a lot he could do to stop them.

"Five minutes and then I want your potion samples bottled and on my desk...all except Weasley and Longbottom, yours I think we'll have you sample to see just how effective it is," Snape said with a slight curl of the lip.

Malfoy's eyes were practically watering with joy and Ron and Neville shared an anxious glance before Ron heard Hermione mumbling from behind them.

"Don't worry, I've been watching you and you've done everything right."

Ron found himself grinning as he tidied away the leftover ingredients and cleaned the utensils. Neville was trying to decant the potion into a bottle but his hands were shaking quite violently now. When the time was up Snape flicked his wand and summoned all the samples onto his desk and then turned his attention to Neville and Ron.

"Well shall we go ahead and taste your potentially lethal concoction then?"

Ron swallowed and grabbed the bottle, figuring it was probably better to go first and get it over with. At least that was his death would distract Snape from the fact that Neville hadn't drank his share of the potion and one life might be saved out of this whole mess.

"Ah no Weasley I don't think we'll be testing this on you will we?" Snape said as he held Ron's hand away from his mouth just as the bottle was about to touch his lips.

"We won't?" Ron frowned.

"You really do have a death wish don't you boy?" Snape rolled his eyes and yanked the bottle from Ron's fingers, "On top of being friends with the danger hungry Potter here and your propensity for finding yourself in peril, in ways no other person could dream to find themselves in if they were given months of preparation on novelty ways to die, now you seem to have forgotten something that I was informed of multiple times by your infuriating mother when you first started at this school. That is your potentially fatal allergy to caraway seeds you imbecile!"

Ron stared at the potion and remembered the 'C' section on the Weasley allergens list and gulped. He'd almost killed himself by making a potion correctly...now that was typical of the Ron Weasley luck.

"So Longbottom, it falls to you to ingest this concoction," Snape said as he pushed the bottle into Neville's trembling hand.

The room fell silent as Neville closed his eyes and downed the potion in one, gagged and almost threw up all over the desk. Ron patted his partner on the back and hoped for the best. Neville didn't seem to be dying. The class waited for almost a minute before Snape lost patients with him and slammed his palm down onto the desk.

"Well do something then you fool! How are we supposed to see if it worked if you don't even attempt one thing let alone two at once?"

Neville picked up a quill and began to write down his name and address while fumbling fearfully for another quill to try and write something else with his left hand.

He knocked over an ink bottle in his search for a secondary quill and then forgot that he'd reached the edge of the parchment he had been writing on and carried on all over the desk while attempting to mop up the pool of blue ink he had created.

"Dear me Longbottom," Snape tutted disapprovingly, "well if the aim of this exercise was to find a way for you to deface school property in two ways at the same time then I'd say it's been a glorious success. Class dismissed except for Potter, Weasley and Longbottom who will stay behind to clean up the mess and then see me for detail on their detention."

Snape stormed into his store cupboard while the classroom emptied of pupils. Malfoy and the Slytherins sniggering and mocking Neville as they passed him on the way out.

"You finally managed to redefine the word clumsy don't you Longbottom?" Malfoy sneered.

"Sod off ferret boy!" Ron hissed as the blonde haired boy disappeared from view.

"Leave it Ron," Hermione said as she _scourgified_ the spill with a flick of her wand, "he's not worth the effort and what on earth were you thinking anyway?"

Ron blinked and stared at the bushy haired witch in shock.

"What have I done now? I _behaved_ myself didn't I? Fat lot of good it did me too!" the fiery redhead snapped.

"Caraway seeds? How could you forget that they could kill you? You almost drank that potion you nitwit!" Hermione said with a fearful kind of annoyance.

Harry intervened and set about helping Neville erase his handwriting from the surface of the desk.

"Neville mate, too bad it didn't work, I know you wanted to prove a point to Snape after all," Harry said sympathetically.

"Who said it didn't work?" Neville said defensively.

"Um..." Ron began before giving up and then choosing to simply gesture at the mess on the desk.

"The potion doesn't change a person's luck or a person's character y'know?" Neville said as he shoved the ruined parchment into his school bag.

"You've got a point there actually Neville," Hermione nodded thoughtfully.

Ron and Harry shared a glance before looking back to Neville and Hermione for some kind of explanation.

"Well the multiplicity potion might allow me to read two books at the same time and understand them because I'd be able to read and understand them separately but with Neville..." Hermione bit her lip and gave him a look of apology and Neville returned her look with a shrug of resignation.

"Go ahead Hermione, it'll be no shock to them after all."

"Well what's Neville the most naturally gifted at?" Hermione asked Harry and Ron.

"Herbology," Harry said immediately.

"What else?" Hermione asked.

"Well," Ron grinned, "he is a bit of a clumsy git!"

"Exactly!" Hermione said while Neville rolled his eyes and blushed, "Sorry Neville."

"No it's true, I am. Anyway that's what the potion did for me didn't it?" Neville shrugged sadly.

Ron and Harry looked at one another again and broke into irrepressible smiles.

"You're telling me that our potion gave you the ability to be clumsy in two different ways at once?" Ron said as he struggled not to laugh.

Neville smiled himself and nodded. Ron didn't seem to care, or maybe he just didn't remember, that Snape was in the store cupboard and due to return any second now to deliver their punishments and he doubled up with laughter and was soon joined by Harry's hysterics as well. Neville gave a chortle before joining them and laughing at his own misfortune while Hermione huffed and stomped out of the classroom to let them get shouted at by their irate potions master.

It was just a shame for Neville that causing himself to become a multiplicitous clumsy git didn't count in Snape's eyes.

ooo

**Next up...Spiteful Git**


	7. Spiteful Git

**Spiteful Git**

_**Spiteful git - An insult delivered with hate, hurt or anger. Sometimes used affectionately but ruefully...it's all about the delivery!**_

Madam Pomfrey thrust the spoonful of vile goop into Ron's mouth and he winced and swallowed it before pulling his most disgusted face ever.

"Yes well I am very sorry the treatment for the lethal poison doesn't taste as delicious as the poison itself but you're going to have to get used to it young man!" the mediwitch snapped before putting the stopper back in the bottle and turning to march away, primly.

Ron seemed to want to spit out his own tongue as he shuddered and pulled himself up in his hospital bed. Ginny smiled and walked across the empty hospital wing towards his bed. The sound of her heels clicking on the floor caught Ron's attention and he turned and smiled at her.

"Hey Gin," he said with a short wave before smacking his lips with distaste and looking around for something to take the fowl taste away.

Ginny reached into her robes and pulled out a chocolate frog. She tossed it to him and took a seat beside his bed without a word.

"Oh brilliant," Ron's eyes widened as he caught the frog between his hands and tore into it with enthusiasm before nodding over to a box wrapped in colourful paper on his bedside table, "that from you?"

"No," she said with a shake of the head, "Fred and George. They came all the way up for your birthday to see you but... You missed them."

Ron stuffed the frog into his mouth whole and frowned as he chewed. He reached over and picked up the box with great caution. Holding it up to his ear he shook it gently before squinting at it with a great deal of suspicion and setting it back down on the side table.

"I'm sure they didn't give you anything nasty Ron," Ginny said as she rolled her eyes, "and if that had been their intention they would never have left it here while you were...poorly."

Ron forced the mouthful of chocolate down his throat and shuffled around to face Ginny properly on his bed.

"I'm not _poorly_," he rolled his eyes, "I just got a bit poisoned that's all!"

"A _bit_ poisoned?" Ginny scowled, "How can a person be a bit poisoned? You are aware you swallowed a fatal dose aren't you?"

"Well I couldn't have because," Ron waved his arms before Ginny's face, she batted them away in annoyance, "I'm not a ghost."

"It's not funny Ron," she said sternly, "you nearly died."

Ron gave a tut and folded his arms across his chest.

"Don't exaggerate."

"I'm not exaggerating you great prat!" Ginny struggled to keep her voice down but it was hard work, "Do you have any idea how scared we all were?"

Ron didn't have anything to say to that. He drew his legs up and sat, cross-legged, on the bed while averting his eyes. Ginny didn't like that her first conversation with her brother after almost losing him was going so badly but, on the other hand, she had expected nothing less.

Things hadn't been good between them since before Christmas and neither of them had really taken the time to build any bridges. When Ron wasn't snogging the face off that airhead Lavender Brown he was casting disapproving looks at her and Dean or out-and-out scowling at her.

She scraped her chair a little closer to Ron's bedside, his eyes shifted to observe this movement apprehensively before looking straight ahead again.

"Do you realise that Harry, Hermione and me waited outside the hospital wing for ten hours before we knew you were going to be alright?" she said as she lifted her hand and settled it upon the bed.

Ginny and Ron had never really been the kind of brother and sister to hold hands or cuddle. They were the kind who pushed each other into the mud and climbed trees and dunked each other's heads under the water when they went swimming. She had wanted to hold his hand the night before, when he had been so still and pale, but her whole family were sitting around the bed with her and it just didn't feel right. Now she wanted to do something, give Ron some kind of physical affirmation that she was there for him and she loved him and that she was glad he was alright.

Her hand remained settled upon the mattress awkwardly, not on Ron's knee or on his arm. She wasn't taking his hand or doing anything that she felt she should be doing, the things she'd seen normal brothers and sisters doing for each other at hard times.

It wasn't their way.

"Hermione waited with you?" Ron suddenly said, shaking Ginny out of her internal monologue.

"Um...yes she did," Ginny shook her head to clear her thoughts before frowning at her thoughtful looking brother and drawing her chair even closer in to the side of his bed, "Of _course_ she did Ron. She was out of her mind with worry over you as a matter of fact."

Ron's ears flushed bright pink and he turned his head away from Ginny.

"It's funny how all that hate and hurt just dissolved when we thought you were going to...well, when we heard."

Ron turned back to stare at Ginny with his brow furrowed so deeply Ginny wondered if he'd need a smoothing charm to level it out again.

"What do you mean _we_?"

Ginny looked right into those eyes, bright blue eyes that seemed to be utterly blind to everything in front of them, and huffed before hopping up onto the side of Ron's bed so they were on the same level.

"You really are thick d'you know that?"

"No Ginny," Ron said with a roll of the eyes, "you don't tell me nearly often enough, please keep battering me about the head with my ignorance until I understand you!"

Ginny swallowed the put down that was just bursting to explode from her lips and took a deep breath in. Ron shifted right around now so they were face to face while Ginny exhaled her calming inhalation and tried to explain something that Ron had bee oblivious of for far too long now.

"You and Hermione," she began, "This is all about you and Hermione and the way you just trampled all over the feelings of somebody you love without a second thought."

Ron looked as if he was about to have a relapse, at least as if he was deliberately willing one on anyway, but Ginny persevered. If she didn't say it now she might never be this honest with her brother again, the gap between them would be too wide.

"You replaced somebody who was with you every available minute of the day. Somebody who you fought with and laughed with and ate with and stayed up late doing absolutely nothing with was just cast aside at the first opportunity and it hurts Ron. It hurts like hell every day and you just don't seem to care."

Ron's jaw hung open and he made a strained, high pitched, kind of squawk from the back of his throat before Ginny raised her hands to silence him.

"Then you lay there all day and night and not one word passes your lips the whole time other then her name. You call out for her Ron, when you need somebody and you're not thinking but acting instinctively, you called out for her and that's just set the seal on the whole thing for everybody. Everybody knows who you care about the most, no matter what you say."

"What?" Ron said, his skin paling alarmingly fast, "I did what?"

_"'Er-my-nee!"_ Ginny said with a cringe, "My bloody replacement!"

Ron almost fell out of bed on hearing this.

"_What?"_

"We were like that before you went off to school," Ginny found herself yelling now as she held up her hand and crossed her fingers before Ron's bulging eyes, "and then you came back the following summer and wanted nothing to do with me!"

"Gin, I..." Ron shook his head in disbelief at what he was hearing.

"Harry and Hermione this and Harry and Hermione that," she mimicked Ron's pre-pubescent voice, "and then you'd write to Hermione when Harry never answered any of your letters. You'd go and lock yourself in your room because letters from Hermione were 'private'," Ginny made quotation marks in the air while rolling her eyes.

"I didn't mean t-" Ron leaned forward and reached out for Ginny but now her need for a physical connection was replaced by a need to give Ron a good hard smack and she batted his hand away.

"You never mean to do anything Ron," she scoffed, "You didn't mean to ignore me all through my first year of school when I needed you most. You didn't mean to be so cruel to Hermione whenever you said and did such spiteful things to her. You didn't mean to dump Harry when he needed your support because your precious ego was bruised during the Tri Wizard tournament. The thing is Ron you did all those things and you keep on finding new and more painful ways to hurt us all without even giving it a second thought."

Ron's head dropped and Ginny found herself running out of steam. This really wasn't the sibling reunion she had in mind when she had run to the hospital wing on hearing that Ron was awake at last.

"You made Hermione hate you and you made me furious with you and then you went and almost died on us and reminded us that we'd rather live in a world _with_ your infuriating presence then without it."

Ron swallowed and looked back up at Ginny again.

"The idiot in me is lost again. Are we glad I'm not dead?" he said, his voice deep but uncertain.

Ginny threw herself forward at him and hugged him tightly.

"Don't you ever think, no matter how angry you make me, that I'd rather you weren't in my life you daft sod!"

Ron's arms curled around her and hugged her back.

"I didn't mean to leave you behind Gin," he said, his voice muffled into her shoulder, "I'd just never had friends I wasn't related to before and I got carried away."

Ginny laughed at this but cuddled Ron even harder.

"Then when you started school it was like...you got to see how many other people there were in the world and compare them to me. I didn't want to get close enough for you to make the comparison and see that I wasn't up to scratch."

That was it. Hugging be damned. Ginny released her brother and punched him hard in the shoulder.

"Ow! Bloody hell!" Ron said as he winced and rubbed his dead arm while cowering slightly, "What the hell's with the mood swings?"

"You are so stupid Ronald Weasley!"

"So you keep saying," Ron grumbled, still considering his sister with a great deal of caution.

Ginny exhaled, blowing her fringe out of her eyes and feeling as if she was running an emotional obstacle course.

"Do you really think I would get so cross with you if I didn't think you were worth the time of day?" she snapped.

"I dunno," Ron shrugged and then winced at his bruising shoulder, "it's hard to get a handle on you these days Gin. You've changed."

"_I've_ changed?" Ginny said incredulously.

"Yes _you,"_ Ron nodded emphatically, "You're almost as bad as Fred these days."

"Excuse me?" Ginny said at this illogical comparison.

"Ron's such and idiot, Ron's such a prat, Let's all point and laugh at Ron when he makes a mistake. I've become the punch line to every joke you make these days and what did I ever do to you to deserve that?"

Ginny suddenly understood. In her efforts to get Harry to notice her she had been slamming Ron left right and centre to anybody who would listen.

"Y'know you have become one of the most popular girls in this school Gin but you can be a spiteful little git at times."

Ginny bit her bottom lip and replayed her last encounter with Ron before his birthday, then the altercation before that and the one before that. She looked up at Ron's hurt eyes and took his hand in hers without even thinking about it.

"I'm really sorry."

Ron squeezed her hand and picked at an imaginary speck of lint on his bed sheets before mumbling.

"I can be a dickhead, I know that and I'm sorry for ditching you the way I did, but I never said or did anything deliberately to hurt you. I just end up hurting people by mistake."

Ginny put her other hand on top of his now and rubbed it soothingly.

"I know, that's why we always forgive you," she smiled.

Ginny dwelled on Ron's previous statement. She had been saying certain things deliberately to hurt him. She had betrayed Hermione's confidence to tell Ron that Hermione had snogged Viktor Krum and she had done it because she wanted to hit him hard. And what had he been doing to deserve that? He had been trying, in his own clumsy and offensive way, to protect her reputation.

He was right. She was a spiteful git.

"I don't like Lavender Brown, Ron," she said, out of the blue and surprising even herself, "I don't think she's good enough for you."

Ron blinked and shook his head as if he thought he'd missed a whole chuck of conversation.

"Um...okay."

"I think you should have gone to that party with Hermione. I think you and Hermione should have a proper talk about things. I like Hermione and, if I'm going to be replaced as the number one witch you think of when you're scared and alone then I want it to be her."

Ron began to shake his head regretfully.

"But she doesn't..."

"She _does," _Ginny nodded, "and while Lavender Brown was acting the drama queen around school because nobody had told her about her poor dying boyfriend, while never once setting foot towards the hospital wing to wait with us, Hermione was there in a heartbeat and she didn't leave until she was sure everything was going to be okay."

Ron's ears flushed again and he looked down at their hands and seemed to realise what they were doing.

"Wow, we haven't held hands since we were little!"

Ginny broke the connection, uncomfortable now that attention had been drawn to it.

"We _never_ held hands."

"Yes we did," Ron nodded, matter-of-factly, "you wouldn't walk up or down a flight of stairs without me holding onto you. When we went shopping with mum we used to have to do it so we didn't lose each other," Ron sniggered, "we just got lost together instead!"

Ginny suddenly remembered and giggled.

"And you used to hold my hand whenever I wanted to jump into a puddle because I was always convinced that one day I'd jump into one with no bottom and sink without a trace."

Ron threw back his head and laughed at that.

"I think I'm the one that told you that actually!" he said, highly amused at his younger self's mischievous streak.

Ginny slapped her brother on the arm, much more playfully this time, and broke into a wide grin.

"I wouldn't put it past you ya spiteful git!"

* * *

**Up next: The final instalment - Git, plain and simple**


	8. Git

**Git**

**_Git – Can be harsh or soft, cruel or affectionate, funny or upsetting._**

_**And at some time or other...we've all been one.**_

_A/N For Chocoholic Monkeyfish!_

He had never been so proud in his entire life.

Here he sat, looking older than his years but blessed beyond belief, surrounded by his family on his birthday. Arthur Weasley knew that Molly had saved for months to be able to afford this family meal at the swishest restaurant in Diagon Alley. He knew that when the boys found out they had all stopped taking their meagre pocket money from her so they could contribute too. He knew that little Ginny hated wearing the pretty pink dress Molly had made for her but the strawberry-haired fidget was sitting up at the table nicely for her daddy.

He looked at his youngest boy and felt like laughing at the look on intense concentration on his face as he struggled to eat with his knife and fork in the right hands. It was a problem Arthur understood only too well. He always sat down at the table and swapped over his knife and fork. Ronnie had picked up on this as soon as he started using cutlery and had copied him. Ronnie copied everything he did when he was very small. Now it was an unbreakable habit and when Molly had cleared her throat on seeing Ron grip the fork in his right hand he had furrowed his brow and started his quest to eat _'kack-handed'_ as he so eloquently put it.

They were all behaving so well, they all looked so nice, they were all alive and well and together. It was more than he dared dream during the dark times when the little ones were born. This was why he was so annoyed at the drawling voice that carried across the room to their table.

"...Really did think, for the price we're paying, we could have eaten our meal without being bothered by riff-raff."

Molly looked at him warningly. He knew she hated the unspoken feud between Arthur and Lucius Malfoy and was adamant that none of the children ever found out about it. Arthur had never believed Malfoy's excuses and lies to escape prosecution after You-Know-Who fell. He knew Malfoy was cruel and dangerous. They had exchanged words after the trial and an implied threat had been made against the children.

Just as Arthur was going for Malfoy's throat the Aurors rounded a corner and Malfoy was gone, a smirk and a billow of robes was all the goodbye he gave.

"I honestly think that if a witch can't even master a simple contraception charm she shouldn't be allowed a wand." Malfoy sniggered to his haughty wife.

Molly's face flushed. Arthur scanned the table and was thankful that none of the children overheard the comment; they were all busy chatting quietly or concentrating on being good.

"Oh come now Lucius," Mrs Malfoy said silkily, "they're obviously celebrating. You can tell it's a special occasion, they're not eating with their hands."

The couple laughed in such a smug manner Arthur was almost shaking in his seat with rage. He was so tense that when Ronnie touched his hand and blinked up at him with those huge blue eyes he jumped.

"Oh sorry Ron, what is it son? Would you like me to pass you something?" Arthur smiled warmly and felt Molly let out a breath of relief on hearing his controlled tone.

Ron leaned in close and whispered up into his dad's face.

"I need the toilet."

"Oh, well not to worry, I'll take you. Come on you fine young gentleman!"

Ron giggled and hopped down from his chair, reaching up to take his father's hand.

"Oh look," Lucius said, sounding almost lazy in his amusement, "they are going to sneak out two by two without paying. I wondered how they were going to afford a place like this."

Arthur's whole body stiffened and Ronnie yelped and pulled his hand away, pouting up at him with a hurt expression.

"You're squeezing too hard!"

"Fr-" Arthur thought better of his choice of accompaniment for young Ronnie, "Percy, would you be a trooper and show Ron to the lavatory for me?"

"Yes dad," Percy nodded before taking Ron's other hand and tugging him away gently.

Arthur watched them go before taking a deep breath and turning to have a few short words with the Malfoys. Molly was standing before him looking fierce.

"This is your birthday. They aren't worth ruining a lovely evening for. Take your seat and enjoy your meal Arthur Weasley."

He took another deep breath in and out before nodding and sitting back down at the table again.

* * *

"Per-cee!" Ron said from inside the cubicle, his voice a little whiny.

"Yes Ron." Percy sighed, more than used to his baby brother's insane conversations that were always pre-empted by a sing-song pronunciation of his name.

"Go away!"

"I'm supposed to wait for you so I can show you back to the table."

"But not in here," Ron said, still sounding a little whiny.

"What?"

"You'll hear me wee!"

"Oh for goodness sake, just go will you?" Percy huffed.

"But I can't go if you're listening."

"I'm not _listening_!"

"But you are, you can hear me talking now."

"Oh Ron stop being a pain and go will you?"

"Wait outside."

"Okay, I promise I'll wait outside if you swear on your Puffskein's life that you'll wash your hands when you're done."

"Promise," Ron said, sounding satisfied.

"Swear?"

"Bollocks!" Ron said cheerfully.

"You know what I mean Ronnie, swear on Snugglegut's life."

"I swear on Snugglegut's life that I will wash my hands now get out Percy. I really have to go!"

Percy puffed out his cheeks and trudged outside.

* * *

Ron sat on the toilet, swinging his little legs and peeing. He was still too little to reach the wall toilets his daddy used. He heard the toilet in the cubicle next to him flush and was startled to think somebody had been listening to him and Percy before...and then listening to him peeing.

Ron managed to finish and he hopped off the toilet to pull up his pants and trousers before standing on tip toes and pulling the chain. He bit his lip and unlocked the door, stepping out to see who it was who was standing at the sink washing their hands.

"Don't worry," the little blonde boy said, without looking around, "I wasn't listening to you pee. I put my fingers in my ears."

Ron grinned and wandered over to the sinks to stand beside the boy, who seemed to be about his age.

"Thanks!"

"You're welcome." The blonde boy said before walking over to the towel to dry his hands.

"Are you here for a special dinner?" Ron asked with interest and excitement that he wasn't the only one dressed up to do something as ordinary as eat.

"No," the boy shook his head, "we're just eating. We come here every Sunday for dinner."

Ron's eyes bulged.

"Why?"

The blonde boy blinked and turned around to stare at Ron incomprehensively.

"What do you mean_ 'why'_?"

"Why do you have a posh dinner every week? Don't you want to have a nice dinner at home with your mum's food and your comfy clothes on?"

"My mother doesn't cook," the boy said, amazed at the idea.

Ron blinked and struggled to understand the concept.

"Your mother cooks for you?" he asked Ron.

Ron nodded and his face lit up.

"She makes my favourites when I've been good and she said, when I'm bigger, she's gonna show me how to make pancakes!" Ron said the last word with excited awe.

"But why don't you just get somebody else to make them for you?" The blonde boy frowned.

Ron thought about this for a while before shrugging.

"Why should they?"

The blonde boy had nothing to say to that. The two of them stood in silence for a moment before Ron broke into his brightest smile and waved unnecessarily.

"I'm Ron."

The blonde boy giggled at Ron waving at him when they were standing right in front of each other.

"I'm Draco," he said, waving back.

Ron gasped and his eyes widened.

"Wow, that's cool!"

Draco scrunched up his nose and shook his head.

"My father chose it. I don't like it."

"My dad chose mine and my mummy chose my middle name and that's yucky old Bilius." Ron grumbled.

Draco seemed to be quite happy that Ron had a silly name too and he smiled at him.

"Are you staying for a while? We've just got here? We can play while my father has his smoke at the end of dinner and my mother goes to the toilet to be sick."

Ron's face fell.

"Why does your mum be sick?"

Draco shrugged.

"It's just what she does after dinner."

"Like burping?" Ron frowned.

"Yes, I suppose it is."

Ron was a lot happier about that and went back to Draco's earlier question.

"We're on our afters now. We'll be goin' home soon."

"Oh," Draco looked disappointed, "well maybe next week?"

"We can't come again, we saved up for millions of years to come here," Ron said as he threw his arms wide, "My dad works for the Mince-city and he doesn't get enough money to make other people cook for him more than once."

Draco seemed to be struggling to understand this.

"My father says something about business at a Mince-city and he comes here all the time. He comes here without me and my mother sometimes."

Ron looked hopeful.

"Maybe your dad and my dad are friends and they will stay and talk and we can play!"

Draco looked delighted and they both hurried from the toilet together.

"Ron!" Percy called after him, "Ronnie, don't run! Who's that other boy. Ron come back!"

* * *

Arthur felt Ronnie tugging at his sleeve and he massaged his knuckles and paid the waiter for the damages while Molly ushered the children towards the fireplace to Floo home in disgrace.

"Daddy...Dad," Ron was impatiently trying to get his attention while Arthur muttered apologies to the restaurant manager, "Daaaaaaad, my friend says his dad knows you from work and we want to play while his mum bees sick. Can we?"

Arthur turned to look down at little Ronnie standing beside an equally small blonde boy who was unmistakably a Malfoy.

"I'm afraid we have to go now Ronnie. Say goodbye to your friend and come with me."

Arthur took Ron's hand and pulled him behind him towards the fireplace.

"But dad..." Ron began, confusion etched all over the poor little tyke's face.

"You can't play with him Ron. It's not allowed."

Percy looked a little lost but obeyed his mother as he was ordered into the fireplace and Flooed home obediently.

"Father?" the young Malfoy boy asked as he frowned at Lucius, who was mopping up his bloodied nose with a napkin.

"Silence Draco!" Malfoy managed to say, "You are never to fraternise with anyone in that family again."

The small blonde boy looked at Ron and his face mirrored the disappointment on Ronnie's freckled features.

"Bu-bye," Ron waved sadly as Arthur held him close to his body and grabbed a handful of Floo powder.

"Goodbye Ron Bilius," the dejected blonde boy waved half heartedly.

"The Burrow!" Arthur yelled and the green flames swallowed them up and then spat them out in the kitchen of the family home.

Molly had a face like thunder and the other children had obviously been sent to their rooms.

"Go upstairs and play Ronnie dear, I need to talk to your daddy." She smiled at him kindly.

Ron stepped out of the fireplace and looked over his shoulder at Arthur.

"Do as your mother tells you Ron, there's a good boy."

Ronnie stared at his father for a moment before narrowing his eyes in that way he did when he was about to tell on Fred and George for being mean to him.

"I got no one to play with you git!" Ron said in his grumpiest voice and ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs, sniffing and wiping his eyes.

"Maybe your sons could have taught you two a lesson," Molly said sadly, "we'll never know now will we?"

Arthur had nothing to say to that.

He was exactly what Ronnie had said he was.

He was a git – plain and simple.

* * *

_A/N And thus ends the series._

_When I first came up with it this was a big comedy slapstick ending but as I wrote it changed and I really liked it._

_I adore Arthur and don't want to paint him as a bad guy in any way. This just highlights that anybody can have their moments and that even the perfect father falls off his pedestal from time to time._

_Thank you to everybody who reviewed and followed these stories. _

_Happy New Year to you all!_

_Solstice Muse._


End file.
